apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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