i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
