Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize