i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
