If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
