gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
