is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
