The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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