After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
