PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
