I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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