so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
