it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize