So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
