i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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