i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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