it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
