just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
sex in a hospital.. check
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
