Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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