Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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