I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
did you just send me my own nude
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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