belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
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