i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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