My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
