I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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