I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
