I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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