I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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