last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
