i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
