One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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