I wish I could teleport
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
