I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
A bitchslap is in order.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
