i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Randomize
