what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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