so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
