i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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