Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
