I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize