Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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