i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
