Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
