i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
