Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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