She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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