well you can't waste a boner
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
