Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
