Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
