i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
My life is pants optional.
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