Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
