I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
