Sry I called you an 8
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
