what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
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