Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
