Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
