the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
