You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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