I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
