I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
