So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize