he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
