Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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