someone threw a dead crab at me
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
