You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
