Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
