I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Randomize
