That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
