Who did Billy Mays play for?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize