Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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