Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
