just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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