On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize