Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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