What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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