an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
