dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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