MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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